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Project: ZLF:!34z

Energy of positive Kinetic Flaneurians

2/11/12 19:18

Universe, give me a rad job so that I may feel better about life.
Thank you, me.

31/10/12 20:19 - All Hallows Eve Night

Second year of retirement from spook house.
Feels nice to not give two hoots about gory things as much,
not like when I was younger at least.

Sometimes I miss the feeling of being at home while down in spook land,
but then there is always creepy contacts & the rare blessing of black lipstick. 
I kind of avoid October now because it gets depressing.
Don't need an excuse to dress like a weirdo, I just am my usual strange self.
I've excepted my eccentric life.

4/10/12 11:56

The boyfriend is having a visit :}   Also, it's starting to get cooler at night, pretty soon it will be in the 30's here, consistently.   Lucky I fancy fall weather + own a bazillion jackets.  Just last night I observed deer coming right up onto the deck to steal a munch on our flowers!!!  Wankers, never in all my years of being vegetarian have I ever wished ill on wild animals the way I want these deer slain!  I have half a mind to plot treacherous things upon these beasts. In other news, I have mostly all my things packed.  I've decided moving forward with life is Super Green.  It's North or South, which for now North has the upper hand.  I miss So-Cal just don't know how long it will take me to get back there.

20/5/12 20:05

This weekend went better then I thought it would go.  Feel like i should throw a mini party just for that factor.
First was a birthday party at my sisters, then a neighborhood road discussion group where only 5 house reps where present out of 11.  My dad barbequed a bunch for it, so now our fridge is packed with tasty things to nibble the next couple days :3
Shaved the back of my skull today, after having bought my shaver maybe a month ago. Why I wait for ages to have half fuzzy skull is beyond me.  I think also, that this was the first time I didn't have help & or pay someone to do it.  Really long over due.  Always, I feel so much better after its all buzzed off.
It is now time to cool the house down

17/5/12 20:10

I visited the Jacksonville Historic Cemetery recently & am now in need of a write up for that.

In other news.  I have piles & piles of projects that taunt me.  Always in the back of my head i get visions of torching it all just so i can feel more free from all that i carry around with me.  Good lord the stock piling one does with all that time not spent finishing things.  For real life.  What do i really do with my time??
Must cut down.
+ not stock pile.
not re-purchase uselessness!
Still not feeling inspired to do art.

I feel like I've been dead for years now.
After this next move, I'll get life rolling again.

5/5/12 03:25 - dissalutioned War horse authority

to withdraw from heroin.
Retraction from emotion
Feral, fiercely independent, self sufficiency
I don't see a point in participating in life's human control game.
I find the system is horribly askew.
we've grown too accustomed to others negotiating our life's,
advertising thin solutions,
too many choice diversions.
Spend too much time not looking deep enough within ourselves for solutions to overcome our weakest points.
P.S.'s: Problems. Solutions. Strength / Weakness, Plain as day at our fingertips.
Thankfully, life's k i s S I M P L E
humans all crave directions. weather we want to acknowledged that or not.
I'm glad I see the simplicity.
I struggle translating / applying it into my life lessons.

Id like to have regular visits to a cognitive therapist.

I'm not an ambitious person
I'm not a materialistic person in the least.

I'd burn all my possessions to prove that point.
In small ways, I cut back, hack, reduce, donate, offer off parts of my life to others if/when they ask.
"If/when a stranger asks for provisions, give them that of which they ask & that of which they don't ask. 
I find that sort of selfless generosity , encouraging, 

i find the human race shameful.
I'm continually exhausted.

I feel affronted by others around me on an alarmingly frequent rate.

I diss like myself, however,
I'm not ashamed of who I am. Or my life's position.
I will not be made to feel terrible for my faults, I embrace them.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with me
No one, other then myself has the power to loom; war horse, destroy, tear down. over my life.
No one has that authority.

1/5/12 20:47

  • [info]charuby wrote: "Yesterday, I was putting out some boxes of gardening stuff out on the shelves. A woman came up to me and tapped me on the shoulder. She was right there in my face and blurted out, "Think we'll get in our gardens soon?" Then she just stared at me. I didn't understand the question so I said, "I'm sorry?"
  • She then started laughing and pulling this strange mocking face.
    "What the heck do you find so hard to understand? You look so confused! I asked you a simple question. Seriously, you young people are just so slow. Did you even go to school? Talk about stupid."
    She then turned to another woman, who she didn't know, and said, "God, I only meant that with the rain and all, do you think we'll get in our gardens soon? She looked at me gone out. What is wrong with the kids of today? They just don't understand anything!"
    That was humiliating. It was the way she just stormed up to me and blurted it out. She didn't really give me any hint that she was talking about the weather. Also, I'm autistic, so it tends to take me a while to understand a vague question in my head. Being autistic is bad enough, but it doesn't make me a retard. However, it's a sore point with me to be treated like I'm simple, so this woman really offended me."

    I personally would have gotten written up (*IF* I had gotten caught reprimanding that hooker) for disorderly conduct in response to her sorry ass!  Who the hell does she think she is swooping down on complete strangers acting foolish!  What a trifling hoe!  She better pray the next person she pulls that stunt on isn't a serial killer!  She's grown enough to know better damn it!
    aside from this case, who the hell talks to strangers like that!

    I'd buy you whatever you wanted after you got out of work, to help make you feel better about life honey, cuz you came out ace with this one; strictly because you didn't lose your self respecting composure.  Even if you had. Still. <3

28/4/12 23:58 - Waste

Today did not accomplish what I wanted.
I found last summers mango salsa recipe though.
Have endless things to write about, seemingly; no one to communicate these ideas with! F!! 
Life keeps telling me -why bother unless its making you money- My response is -Money for what though, adult responsibility?- I don't foresee being here long (regardless of how crazy that may sound) or at least it feels like a coming to a close end is about to swoop down on all life. +Plus+ we don't take anything with us in the end.
Idk, I guess I can see why nihilist's see the world as pointless. Aside from the simple urge to exist & interact with existence.

So to feel like less of an asshole human, I'm cleaning out the second computer, So I can do some work.
The boy friend is no help with life at the moment of course. I can't lie that i am extremely disappointed with that.

What the F ever I guess, Why do I expect life to be less of a bitch. I know better.
Can't help laughing in the end about everything.
Life is such a joke.

Took a bunch of books to the goodwill today.
I'm happy to get rid of as many materialistic possessions as humanly possible.
I feel like the less I own the more clearly I see life.
Woo I sound like a weirdo

22/4/12 01:36

Mental note to self: BACON CREW FOR LIFE arm bands for Shay & myself.
I've decided It's time to move again.
Ive been putting things away in proper plastic benz.  It feels good to get rid of things. 
I need my life to get normal again. 
So, yeah.  This past week I fought a cold off.  Now that I'm starting to feel semi normal, I'll job hunt.

Also feels nice to know what I want!!!




13/4/12 12:56 - Paranormal experience: Tag

I filmed part of my start on Grav3yardgirl's paranormal experience vlog. 
Total of 13 questions :3  Tried doing a run threw for a prep video to get the time as close to ten minutes as possible.
Firth run threw was an hour, Second time around was half an hour, Third filming was fifteen minutes.
Thought I'd leave the questions below for others to possibly use/add to.
1. How old where you when you had your first paranormal experience?
2. Have you always believed in ghosts?
3. Where is your favorite place to investigate?
4. What is your favorite place to investigate?
5. What is your scariest paranormal experience?
6. What is your favorite paranormal experience?
7. Do you know anyone else personally who has paranormal experiences?
8. Do you have trouble convincing friends & family about your paranormal experience?
9. Favorite T.V. show or movie?
10. What would be your dream place to investigate?
11. Do you prefer to investigate alone or in a group?
12. Is your home haunted?
13. Have you ever had any paranormal experiences with animals?
Hope you enjoy these, please feel free to leave your story's below! <3

20/3/12 16:58

I hate you… but I love you,

I’m sad without you… but I’m happy,

I hate the thought of you… but I like to think of you,

I’m sad you don’t want to talk… but I’ll talk to you anyway,

I’m lost without you… but I’m finding my way,

I don’t want you around… but I need you,

I love you… but you don’t love me.

Oh, yep. I've had a relationship like that!! D:  It blew so hard!!!! Majorly disappointing. 
All I have to say from that one is; surprisingly, I am not bitter or upset about it.
& I have moved forward.  Your loss.
Final sentiments: At one point I remember talking with a close friend about it toward the end, She said he was a moron.  However,  all I could think was, Who's the bigger moron!  Him or me?  Me for even wasting my time!

Guess I had another long lasting lesson to gain from it all. 
The only thing I regret is that I didn't learn the lesson quicker & put my foot down. 

I'll be sending his heart back to him in the mail, because at some point he stole it back to give to me for safe keeping.  As I see now it really belongs to him to give away, not me, it's only right he have it back. 
The other hard truth from all of that is once I love someone, it's for life. 
So I love him, but I can honestly let him live life to its fullest without regret that I'm not in his life. 

I refuse to be that awkward friend who's bitter about things. 
I like to live & let live.

Anyways,  That is not why I came in here.
I came in here to say hello.
Give an electronic cupie cake!!  



That is all.

12/3/12 21:47 - For the good of clear space!!

This morning I woke up again wanting to do a little stretching + dancing.
I woke up like that yesterday as well, just didn't actually get to dance at all.
Not today Suck'a!!!  I win. Must keep up working out & stretching. Mmm hmm ^ ^

Then, for the better part of this afternoon (grinding my teeth frequently)
I worked on purging my closet of all: unfitting /unworn*still with price tag & or all unloved clothing!! 
Dang, what a mighty chore.
It started off firstly by doing laundry, then I decided I will be taking better care of what I currently have + do a little ironing. 
Which of course lead to a purge I'd been wanting to start for quite a while.
Plotted quite a few pieces I'll be re-working into fun D.I.Y. projects :}
There's a large pile waiting at my door for a thrift store drop off trip.
Pile is actually impressing. 

I can't help thinking, how many other people have these strange domestic list's of things they never get around to doing!?
I fail to understand the word & meanin
g of boredom.  There is always something one could work on Or clean.
Isn't it more
accurate to say people lack motivation rather then suffer from boredom to finish projects they put off?
well anyways.  Enough rambling.

2/3/12 20:17

Very board with a question I asked late last night to thequestionclub in LJ land. Yes, I am well aware the question seemed funny(out of place) & was also blatantly obvious.  However, the point was to hear other people opinions *not my own.  I do appreciate those who replied to the question. :}  I'm also glad there weren't any trolls.  Maybe I speak to soon with that though, who knows.  I did also ask the fetish community the same question, worded differently, In both a male & female group.  It was much nicer reading all of the responses from that walk of life.  Always is.

In other news my sister Brandy is in TN where tornado's are breezing threw all around her. 
The weather channel was more interesting to watch.
I have a gut instinct telling me she will be fine & will make it home safe.

It is now time to find something of personal interest to work on.

20/2/12 01:06

Must remember upon reflections, not to beat self to death regarding issues from the past.

16/2/12 11:35

My vehement list of thing that i hate is larger then a list of things i enjoy.
The sadistic side of my brain finds that slightly funny in a foul sort of way. 


13/2/12 22:55 - New years resolution?

I changed things around in here again.  Just trying to make better use of this space to the best advantage I can.  I also noticed I do a lot more hidden updates then I'd like.  Onto the first update of the year O..O sorry.
New years here like everything else went UNcelebrated like I enjoy doing things.  At first I made no new years resolution, because in general i think they are lame.  But then I pondered what I would really like to get out of this year. & of course, came up with two.
Be happy + Move out.  ...lolz Tra La - La. new years resolution in Feb :3 
How is everyone else coming with their resolutions thus far in the year?

So, being that Jan. was a fail for my sisters birthday *i feel*  I decided that I'll be turning mine into a tea party!! 
To sort of make up for the lack of celebration for B + I feel like a terrible little sister (in general) *please don't ask.
Also have decided I refuse to lose track of my friends from Cali.  I just love & adore them too much. 
So I'm picking up my postcard exchange.  To kick off that lovely side project. I picked up fortune cookie v. cards.  Which after I'm done with them & have them sorted. Will be sweet :3  It has been really fun thus far doodling, stickering, stamping, folding, packaging, & note writing to each of my friends.
Last thing I've noticed I've picked up doing as of this month & actually helps make me feel OK about life.  Is my Pro's / Con's list making.  Simple. Yes I know. But effective. 

Since last nights dream & into Today: I have an industrial song stuck in my head, but fail to know the artist!
"If you've got the money honey, I've got the time"
*Is peeved. ~_~
I hope the song plays within the next day or so, So that, I may be able to actually track down said unknown song. Mmm!!

I guess that is all for now.
Hope everyone is doing alright.

7/11/11 05:44 - Too much house pet.

The Lexie cat has taken to stealing my Q-tips & playing with them in the bathroom.
She has also taken to running circles threw my room.
I am onto her games :3

6/11/11 19:54

Going back to listen to some of the old music you have, is quite amusing.
Some of the dark & spooky CD's I own are pretty epic.
<3 my friends who make those CD's possible :3

The cat war we have here at home is also pretty interesting in the fact that my uncle's two current house guest kitty's are constantly wanting to come visit my room, However. My Lexie cat is not having it.
Can't help giggling at her sour growling. :}

3/11/11 22:26 - It might SNOW.

November's National Novel writing month has started.
& is going swell.
I'll post the results as they fall at my feet. In finished form.

Also, This whole getting seasons back is amazing to my brain.
Season over load! :) Mmmmmm fall <3 how I've missed thee.
My mom is displeased with it though.
I could see her going back to SD. I don't blame her.
Tonight the weather under ground says that is is supposed to get to 29* + it was raining just a little while ago. Ergo. Either Ice or snow in the morning. bewhaha

Things with the man critter are going well.
Most of the time though, my brain feels like its sizzling with over exhaustion regarding subject matter on topic. Verbally speaking that is. Things will calm down after a while, I have to keep remembering. Long run. Just have to keep in mind, the long run.

I definitely need therapy.

So, I would like to pick up my postcard exchange more.
If anyone is interested with this: P.O.Box 11, Williams, OR 97544
I do enjoy hunting down awesome stuffs to send via snail mail.

I guess that is all. Hope everyone is doing well. <33

2/10/11 18:57

Weather underground says it's supposed to rain!  60% chance.  Give me my rain! d a m n  i t !
I've been looking up felting projects + Mighty Boosh has been playing in the background all afternoon.
I've decided I don't like Stashes Earl Gray tea. . .
Should do a review on teas at some point.
This will be my first October in a long time that I am not excited for the time of year.

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